Ok, so my sleeping pattern hasn’t been the most consistent in the world. It’s especially hard when laying in bed for hours and not able to sleep. Besides popping pills, the next best and most effective way to get some great zzz is a lot of physical exertion. In my case, jogging does the trick. Yesterday afternoon, after a rather bad case of insomnia the night before, I decided to take a jog along the Sammamish River Trail, a flat paved path with amazing scenery. This was near the Willows Lodge 
in Woodinville, one of the top 100 luxury resorts in the world according to Travel + Leisure’s 12th Annual World’s Best Awards 2007 reader’s survey. People pay $200-$500 per night to stay there and enjoy the same scenery.
The weather was kind of nice, with the sun in and out of the clouds. The temperature, cool. And the wind, ferocious, helpful when against my back, but not so fun when smothering against my face. Besides dealing with possibility of blacking out by this torrent of pure oxygen. I had watch out for random droppings as hundreds of birds flew sometimes aimlessly overhead, screaming like banshees. In the end though, it was definitely a rush… 4 miles suddenly didn’t seem that much afterward.
That night, feeling a bit tired, I decided to head to bed early at about 9:30p versus my customary post mid-night sleeping time. And within minutes, I passed out like being hit with an elephant grade tranquilizer, and slept blissfully for the next 12 hours.
So next time you want a great night of sleep, start jogging!
Assuming his account of the story is accurate, the survival of Football player Nick Schuyler in Gulf of Mexico is remarkable. 3 other men were also in the boat, as they went on a fishing trip. Around 5:30p on that fateful day, the group ran into trouble as their anchor caught the coral causing the boat to fill with water, and eventually capsize.
All 4 men were able to secure life jackets, and held onto the boat. And yet 48 hours later only 1 survived. Why was that? Obviously being in the chilling water clouded their judgments. According to Mr. Schuyer, 1 man freaked out, and disappeared into the night. Another became violent, and threw punches before finally diving into sea, and never to be seen. The third man, and perhaps the most tragic having survived for almost two days, and was just hours from the rescue thought that he saw land, and decided to swim towards it, also was never seen again.
Apparently Mr. Schuyler had a reputation for toughness and self discipline. He was also able to cling onto a mental thought of not having his mom attend his funeral. In the end, he survived and endured, while the other men didn’t. The lesson if any that can be drawn is to stay calm and level headed however difficult the situation. I know, easier said then done.
The other lesson seems to be not to venture far from the scene of the accident, especially if the chance of a search is high. A couple of years ago, a family of 4 was stuck in a snowstorm on a remote road. The husband decided to go for help while his wife and 2 children waited. The man ended up travelling in circles before stumbling to hypothermia and froze to death. His wife and kids were later rescued by helicopter. Had he stayed put, he most likely would have survived.
Salsa is a great way to meet new people. It’s really natural to strike conversations with people that you see often, especially with your dance partners. And sometimes people actually become friends, or something more. One thing that I noticed is that women tend to be better at socializing than guys. Many men are more uptight, especially starting a conversation with another guy that they don’t know.
This tenacity might be compounded when more guys than gals are on the dance floor. So that it becomes a bit of competition. It’s kind of amusing sometimes watching grown men positioning themselves besides a pretty girl and rushing forward to dance with her before other fellows. I tend to take it less seriously, and move around more often, finding girls who aren’t dancing at the moment. And eventually, I end up dancing with many of the popular girls anyway.
And when I’m resting on the sidelines, I’ve got no problem asking another guy how he did his moves, or just catch up with friends. I think in general, it’s great to add some conversation to Salsa, instead of some people philosophy of just “shut up and dance.”
On my last day at a job at an Internet Marketing company, the owner/CEO addressed to everyone in deadpan joking manner, “You’re all here to make sure that I’m set for retirement.” The room was so silent that you could hear a pin drop. To his credit, he quickly recovered, and acknowledged that comment didn’t help morale. But in a very blunt sense, he was telling the truth. Everyone there was to make sure that the company succeeds. In return the company paid them regularly for the duration of the employment. There was no further obligation. If the owner of the company decides to sell the company one day, and retire, he could. Everyone else will likely have to find other employment.
I have no regret in quitting my job and starting my own business. The jury is still out whether it’ll succeed. But I do know that I’m a lot happier and less stressed. One of the biggest drawback of being employed is that it kills initiative. By having a manager, you always have to seek that person’s approval. When you’re on your own, you’re on the one that makes the final decisions.
I’m not saying everyone should run out and start their business. But for me I rather be in control of my own financial destiny, instead of be dependant on someone else. That’s why I decided to stop working to make others rich, and mind my own business.
Probably one of the biggest stressors in our lives are dramatic people. Instead of taking the time to clearly communicate and solve a problem, some people just decide to get mad. I’ve found the most effective way to deal with these situations is to be calm and speak in a leveled voice.
Not long ago, a girl that I knew for a while blew up on me for “pressuring” her to dance. I was a bit incredulous. Apparently even though she wasn’t dancing at the time, she had a few other people who asked before me. And she wanted to dance with them first. Ok that was actually kind of considerate. But at the time, all I heard from her was that she needed to find someone. That person wasn’t there. So I persisted, and said something like, “dance with me then.” She declined, walked away, and danced with another fellow instead. I actually thought that was kind of rude, but I got over it and danced with other girls instead.
Later in the evening, as she was leaving, she came up to me & suddenly started screaming, saying that she didn’t appreciate being pressured. It definitely took an effort to keep my anger in check. Instead I just said, “Sorry, but I didn’t realize that you had other people already waiting in queue. I thought that you were avoiding me. Hopefully we can dance again in the future.” Had I said anything else, she probably would have gotten even madder. So I just apologized and moved on.
These days, apparently she’s still holding a grudge against me. I find that amusing. From my association with her before this, I thought she was a sweet person. In her defense, she was probably just having a bad day or something. I’ll still be polite around her. But I won’t ask her to dance any time soon.
Anger isn’t healthy. It ages us and causes our arties to harden. It makes us do and/or say stupid things. Anger is not a sign of strength, but instead exposes a fundamental character weakness of not being able to control oneself.
Several years ago I was working on a few important marketing campaigns where the results were monitored daily. My boss at the time was very worried about them. Incidentally, he was going on a cruise that week. But he decided to checkup on me on Thursday. Up to that point in the week, the results had been pretty good. So I told him that things were fine. Then as you might have guessed, Murphy Law manifested itself with a vengeance, the campaign went sour for the next 3 days, and wiped out cumulatively the positive results of the 4 previous ones.
When I arrived on Monday, my boss was already busily working. As I sat in front on my computer and discovered the bad news, I had sinking feeling in the my stomach. Then an urgent email appeared in my inbox. The boss wanted me in his office ASAP. “Oh crap,” muttering to myself as I grabbed my notes and marched into the foreseeable gloom. The boss did not disappoint, and for the next 10 minutes, his normally Zen like demeanor disappeared, as I was confronted with a nonstop barrage of accusations, hysteria, and insults. Basically he thought that I lied to him. I tried to explain what happened. But he won’t listen. In the end, he gave me an ultimatum, improve the campaigns in the next couple of weeks, or be terminated.
And so for the next 2 weeks, I worked 10+ hour days including weekends to improve the campaigns. And at the end of that time, they weren’t great, but definitely improved. I was able to keep my job. For the next several months, I continued my work and eventually made them successful. To me it was more than just staying employed, but also a matter of honor, proving that I could get the job done. Although I succeed, I never forgot how easily I incurred my boss’ wrath. And it definitely had a part in my decision to eventually quitting the job and running my own business instead.
Now that I’m the boss, I like to hear the other people’s perspective before rendering judgment. I find clear & leveled communication is much more effective in getting my points across and preventing future problems. Going ballistic is easy to do, especially to someone financially or emotionally dependant on you. But it creates resentments and shatters relationships. So the best way to deal with anger is to avoid it. It’s easier said than done, but definitely worth it.
Political Correctness serves in many case as euphemisms, so not to offend. Many traditional labels are no longer in fashion because they were used in malice or derision. But sometimes the new racial labels have weird names that are just confusing!
The basic way to label race is by color. For example, someone might be White or Black. But you don’t hear many people use Brown or Yellow, except maybe in HBO Prison Dramas. Now if we go strictly by color, then it shouldn’t be offensive, right? Except somewhere along the line, Brown and Yellow got a bit of negative association. To refer someone as Brown, you might imply that they look dirty, or god forbid, crappy! Or if you say someone is Yellow, it kind of brings up images of old western movies, where the best way to provoke a fight is accuse someone, “what are ya, yellow?” Not really sure about how yellow got associated with cowardliness… But apparently it’s not fashionable to call a person of Asian-decent yellow.
Ok, so label by color isn’t ideal. So let’s invent some names then, or borrow from science, or linguistic. For example, Caucasian is a term from anthropology describing white people. It seems to be common these days, and much less Nazi sounding than Aryan. But it kind of conjures a cocky Asian. Or even more nebulas, an Asian dude…
As for “Latino,” which supposedly describes South Americans… But that implies that they were from Rome. Guess since most are Catholics, it’s more of a description of their faith which uses Latin as the default language.
“Negro” use to be a common term, but being too close to “Nigger,” nobody use it much anymore. Similarly “Oriental” was part of the daily use. But too much association to rugs and carpet destroyed its luster.
Well, label by pseudo isn’t perfect either. Let’s try geography then. For example, I’m an “Asian American.” A black person is an “African American.” “Hispanic American“ came from the word Hispania, a former name for Spain. I actually think“Spanics American” is more clearer. But guess it could be confused with “Spanish Americans.” An American Indian is “Native American.” Apparently the “Native” label is granted with residency of about 10K+ years… So looks like Political Correctness has succeed! Slap a place of origin + American. And voilà, we’d get the most non-offensive racial label. It’s a perfect formula!
Wonder when will “European American” become popular…
Disclaimer: This post was written in a satirical manner. If it comes across as offensive, the author sincerely suggests that you get a sense of humor.
Fear can be paralyzing. In the current uncertain economic environment, it’s very easy to be afraid. The world seems to be ending. And there appears to be no recovery in sight. Everyday, more bad news about layoffs and the incredibly shrinking stock portfolio can be depressing. But what can we really do about it? Well on a grand national level, perhaps nothing. But in our own lives, we can do a lot to adjust to the present and plan for the future.
A very important thing to do is to get into the mental state that we’re in control of our own lives. That is crucial to prompt us to take actions and improve our situation. Support system from family and friends are also crucial as we battle against the big bad world. Also try to think through worse case scenarios, and list what you can do now to prepare for them. Whether it’s stocking up on canned food and emergency supplies, or buy some gold, by taking those actions, you lessen your fear, and build your confidence.
Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re in Hell, keep going.” That dry humor is especially needed today. Be a leader, and project confidence, instead of contribute to negativity. Overcoming fear is crucial to take the necessary actions and succeed!
I recently read an article about a novel approach that a middle school Principle took to deal with bullying. After identifying them through student surveys, the Principle sat down with the bullies to talk about their problems at home that might be leading them to abuse others at school. While I applaud his effort, I think the job is only half done. What he should have also done is to teach those being bullied how to stand up to bullying, and not be punching bags. That skill will be highly valuable throughout life, because bullies are inevitable. In nature, and throughout human history, the strong tends to push around the weak. The number 1 way to repel bullies is not to be weak, or at least appear that way.
In the post How to Deal with Bullies at Work, GeekMBA360 took the high road in recommending to continue do the right things, and not let the bullies get under your skin. It’s a classy approach. I’d recommend it. Additionally I suggest if someone gets in your face, you get right back in their face. By building a tough reputation, you not only dissolve that particular case of bullying, but also deter future ones. Just make sure you use this tactic only to respond, and not to provoke. Otherwise, you might become a bully yourself.