Racial Labels + Political Correctness = Massive Confusion

Political Correctness serves in many case as euphemisms, so not to offend.  Many traditional labels are no longer in fashion because they were used in malice or derision.  But sometimes the new racial labels have weird names that are just confusing!

The basic way to label race is by color.  For example, someone might be White or Black.  But you don’t hear many people use Brown or Yellow, except maybe in HBO Prison Dramas.  Now if we go strictly by color, then it shouldn’t be offensive, right?  Except somewhere along the line, Brown and Yellow got a bit of negative association.  To refer someone as Brown, you might imply that they look dirty, or god forbid, crappy!  Or if you say someone is Yellow, it kind of brings up images of old western movies, where the best way to provoke a fight is accuse someone, “what are ya, yellow?”  Not really sure about how yellow got associated with cowardliness…   But apparently it’s not fashionable to call a person of Asian-decent yellow.

Ok, so label by color isn’t ideal.  So let’s invent some names then, or borrow from science, or linguistic.  For example, Caucasian is a term from anthropology describing white people.  It seems to be common these days, and much less Nazi sounding than Aryan.  But it kind of conjures a cocky Asian.  Or even more nebulas, an Asian dude…   

As for “Latino,” which supposedly describes South Americans…  But that implies that they were from Rome.  Guess since most are Catholics, it’s more of a description of their faith which uses Latin as the default language. 

“Negro” use to be a common term, but being too close to “Nigger,” nobody use it much anymore.  Similarly “Oriental” was part of the daily use.  But too much association to rugs and carpet destroyed its luster.

Well, label by pseudo isn’t perfect either.  Let’s try geography then.  For example, I’m an “Asian American.”  A black person is an “African American.”  “Hispanic American“ came from the word Hispania, a former name for Spain.  I actually think“Spanics American” is more clearer.  But guess it could be confused with “Spanish Americans.”  An American Indian is “Native American.”  Apparently the “Native” label is granted with residency of about 10K+ years…  So looks like Political Correctness has succeed!  Slap a place of origin + American.  And voilà, we’d get the most non-offensive racial label.  It’s a perfect formula! 

Wonder when will “European American” become popular…

Disclaimer:  This post was written in a satirical manner.  If it comes across as offensive, the author sincerely suggests that you get a sense of humor.