Probably one of the biggest stressors in our lives are dramatic people. Instead of taking the time to clearly communicate and solve a problem, some people just decide to get mad. I’ve found the most effective way to deal with these situations is to be calm and speak in a leveled voice.
Not long ago, a girl that I knew for a while blew up on me for “pressuring” her to dance. I was a bit incredulous. Apparently even though she wasn’t dancing at the time, she had a few other people who asked before me. And she wanted to dance with them first. Ok that was actually kind of considerate. But at the time, all I heard from her was that she needed to find someone. That person wasn’t there. So I persisted, and said something like, “dance with me then.” She declined, walked away, and danced with another fellow instead. I actually thought that was kind of rude, but I got over it and danced with other girls instead.
Later in the evening, as she was leaving, she came up to me & suddenly started screaming, saying that she didn’t appreciate being pressured. It definitely took an effort to keep my anger in check. Instead I just said, “Sorry, but I didn’t realize that you had other people already waiting in queue. I thought that you were avoiding me. Hopefully we can dance again in the future.” Had I said anything else, she probably would have gotten even madder. So I just apologized and moved on.
These days, apparently she’s still holding a grudge against me. I find that amusing. From my association with her before this, I thought she was a sweet person. In her defense, she was probably just having a bad day or something. I’ll still be polite around her. But I won’t ask her to dance any time soon.
Salsa is a great way to meet new people. It’s really natural to strike conversations with people that you see often, especially with your dance partners. And sometimes people actually become friends, or something more. One thing that I noticed is that women tend to be better at socializing than guys. Many men are more uptight, especially starting a conversation with another guy that they don’t know.
This tenacity might be compounded when more guys than gals are on the dance floor. So that it becomes a bit of competition. It’s kind of amusing sometimes watching grown men positioning themselves besides a pretty girl and rushing forward to dance with her before other fellows. I tend to take it less seriously, and move around more often, finding girls who aren’t dancing at the moment. And eventually, I end up dancing with many of the popular girls anyway.
And when I’m resting on the sidelines, I’ve got no problem asking another guy how he did his moves, or just catch up with friends. I think in general, it’s great to add some conversation to Salsa, instead of some people philosophy of just “shut up and dance.”
Like many things in life, having a positive attitude while dancing definitely enhance the experience. I used to focus on a lot of the technical aspects that sometimes I forgot to enjoy myself and connect with my partner. But last night at Halo, I was on fire. Girls were lined up to dance with me because I was having a blast, and I made them look great!
Prettier girls tend to be popular dancing partners regardless their skill. And with more choices, they tend to be discerning, and choose mostly the more experienced. This leads to an informal arms race among the guys, learning new moves to impress. Check out some advance partner dancing classes, and you’d find guys usually outnumbers the gals, sometimes by a lot… It’s funny, kind of like the bar scene.
Went to Ibiza in Seattle last Thursday and had a great time. I’ve seen quite a few dances. But the energy and jubilance of Samba makes it exceptional. I had an awesome time. See the photos below. The beautiful ladies are part of the Tudo Beleza, a Brazilian dance company in Seattle.
I’ve been taking classes since May, 2007, and made some observation:
- There seems to be more guys than gals in Salsa classes, especially the intermediate to advance levels. My guess is that since guys are leading, they have to learn the moves. For the gals, or followers, once they’ve gained the basics, they can pretty much follow most leads; any further progression is mostly styling, or optional.
- The attrition is high. Many people start their first class every month with interest and ethusiam. But over time, that tends to fade, some sooner than others. But for the ones who stay, there are some incrediable dancers. And I’m definitely insipired to become an expert!
- There are a lot of moves to remember! And it’s very easy to forget them. So I’m trying to attend classes more often, and even repeat the same ones. Though for economic reasons, I have to do it by observation instead of participating. So far I did a good job in internalizing some of the basic moves. And with practice, my style has become a lot more smoother. But like any skill, there’s definitely a cost in time & sweat, not to mention money. At $10/person/ group lesson, and $50-$75/hour for private, the popular Salsa teachers should make fairly good income!
But overall, I enjoy it very much. It helps me to keep in shape both physically and mentally. And through this activity, I’ve also met a lot of interesting people and new friends.
Ok, I think I’m getting a lot better in Salsa, not quite expert, but fairly decent intermediate dancer. Classes definitely helped, but it’s practice that really made it more natural and fluid.
Business is also picking up. But I still have a lot to do, especially building quality backward links to my site. I’m optimistic of my future. There’re a lot more great stuff to come!