Anger isn’t healthy.  It ages us and causes our arties to harden.  It makes us do and/or say stupid things.  Anger is not a sign of strength, but instead exposes a fundamental character weakness of not being able to control oneself.

Several years ago I was working on a few important marketing campaigns where the results were monitored daily.  My boss at the time was very worried about them.  Incidentally, he was going on a cruise that week.  But he decided to checkup on me on Thursday.  Up to that point in the week, the results had been pretty good.  So I told him that things were fine.  Then as you might have guessed, Murphy Law manifested itself with a vengeance, the campaign went sour for the next 3 days, and wiped out cumulatively the positive results of the 4 previous ones. 

When I arrived on Monday, my boss was already busily working.  As I sat in front on my computer and discovered the bad news, I had sinking feeling in the my stomach.  Then an urgent email appeared in my inbox.  The boss wanted me in his office ASAP.  “Oh crap,” muttering to myself as I grabbed my notes and marched into the foreseeable gloom.  The boss did not disappoint, and for the next 10 minutes, his normally Zen like demeanor disappeared, as I was confronted with a nonstop barrage of accusations, hysteria, and insults.  Basically he thought that I lied to him.  I tried to explain what happened.  But he won’t listen.  In the end, he gave me an ultimatum, improve the campaigns in the next couple of weeks, or be terminated.

And so for the next 2 weeks, I worked 10+ hour days including weekends to improve the campaigns.  And at the end of that time, they weren’t great, but definitely improved.  I was able to keep my job.  For the next several months, I continued my work and eventually made them successful.  To me it was more than just staying employed, but also a matter of honor, proving that I could get the job done.  Although I succeed, I never forgot how easily I incurred my boss’ wrath.  And it definitely had a part in my decision to eventually quitting the job and running my own business instead.

Now that I’m the boss, I like to hear the other people’s perspective before rendering judgment.  I find clear & leveled communication is much more effective in getting my points across and preventing future problems.  Going ballistic is easy to do, especially to someone financially or emotionally dependant on you.  But it creates resentments and shatters relationships.  So the best way to deal with anger is to avoid it.  It’s easier said than done, but definitely worth it.