I’m a guy, and I’m not going to get mushy, and preach about getting in touch with your emotion. I will say that strength is desirable. It comes in different forms: physical, mental, and emotional. The last one is not mentioned often, but as Warren Buffet mentioned, it’s crucial to success. In other words, the ability to remain cool under pressure is what often prevents people from making some truly dumbass decisions. It lessens the effect of fear, anger, greed, and embarrassment and helps you to keep going in face of difficulties.
Personally I’ve gotten a lot of better in this area. Once upon a time, I would blew a fuse when confronted with crappy situations. It didn’t make them better, in fact often the opposite happened. Afterwards, I’d feel angry, hurt, exhausted, and even confused. For a while it led me to the other extreme of avoiding confrontations, and not really facing the problem, which is another kind of stupidity and cowardice.
Nowadays I’m a lot calmer & balanced. I’m able to take a more detached perspective of the situation, and put myself in a third person view. This helps me to be more objective, and dare I say, mature. Emotional strength is like a muscle that can be built, and becomes stronger the more we use it. I found these tips to be helpful:
Take Deep Breaths
It’s kind of funny, but just by having enough oxygen helps to prevent a person turning into a manic. Go ahead and try it. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Hold it. HOld, HOLd, HOLD! NOW RELEASE! Alright got my Mel Gibson’s Braveheart impression out of the system. In any event, you should feel a bit more relaxed by the exercise, though perhaps slightly annoyed by the rant. If the latter emotion, take another deep breath… Your heart beat actually slows, and blood pressure goes down when you’re taking enough oxygen, and most importantly the brains function better! Heck if you want to take it further, try Yoga, Tai Chi, or meditation which share similar concepts.
Be Positive
Yes sh*t happened. But you get to decide how to react. You could be angry and lash out, or frightened and withdraw. Neither is very helpful, and usually puts you in a weaker position. Instead take a mellow approach, or even better, be cheerful. I know it’s hard, but it helps you gain a better perspective on the big picture. On the flip side of the coin, avoid negativity whether in yourself, or others like the plague. It’s not helpful, and drains precious energy.
Get Enough Sleep
Vince Lombardi, the football coach once said, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” I would add jerks and manic. Like alcohol and drugs, sleep depravation make people do stupid & rude things. So make sure to make to get enough, or try naps. You’d a lot sharper & stable as the result.
Be Somewhat Detached
I’m not saying you should be Spock from Star Trek, and start pulling emotionless logical BS. You’re human being, and as people, we tend to get attached and become upset if things don’t go as expected. I’m simply saying that yes you can care about it, but just not TOO much. Instead focus on your goals, and be flexible on how to attain them.
Stay Physically Fit
Not only do you become physically & mentally stronger, you also gain better control of your emotion. You pain tolerance goes up, and you are able to withstand situations that might cause others to break.
Life is full of problems, obstacles, and setbacks. Don’t let circumstances cause you to become an emotional wreck, and do things that you’d later regret, or the other extreme a cold android who fail to connect with others. Instead be stable, calm, and positive, and you will become more confident and have a much better chance of success.